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What makes my people, my people?
I fully believe I have the best group of friends.
No one could match our energy, our trust, our level of fun or laughter or support. My people are the best group out there. Someone could make a TV show based on our lives, and it would do better than any 90s-early 2000s sitcom.
I hope you read that and thought, No, my friend group is the best group on earth.
There’s something refreshing and humbling that blows through you when you stop and consider those that are closest to you. Not just the ones that you get to see on a daily basis. I’m talking about the ones who have been with you through thick and thin. The ones who are still around after you did that awful thing. The ones who you don’t see for months but you can show up at their doorstep and be welcomed like time wasn’t a thing.
I’m lucky enough to have friends like that, and I hope you are too. Here are a few things about my people that I think are universal when it comes to what makes your people, yours.
We’re alike.
Obviously there was something that brought us together as friends. Whether it was a sport, faith, music, ethnicity, whatever—there was something that made me realize I’m not alone. As time has gone on, that something has either remained or shifted just enough in us to keep us together. “Birds of a feather flock together,” or something like that.
We’re different.
“Opposites attract.” As much as our similarities brought us together, our differences have made me cherish my people. Most of my friends come from different backgrounds, and we’ve learned more than we could from books and research simply from being in relationship with one another. We may not always see eye-to-eye, but that doesn’t mean we don’t want to be around each other.
We’re intentional.
One curse of getting older that no one tells you about is the difficulty of maintaining friendships. The thing is, when you find your people, you usually find something that you didn’t know you needed. Community, listening ears, a different perspective, cheerleaders, people who keep you on character, and the list goes on. What makes “my people” different from friends that come and go is that we choose to be intentional. Some of us have gotten married. Some have moved away. Others were always far away, but we’ve just gotten busier. But we stay intentional. Our relationships always deepen, no matter the obstacle.
We remember.
I have the worst memory. But this is something that I know (and my friends know) about me. So I put people’s birthdays in my calendar. I text them when I know they’ve got surgery or are traveling somewhere new or are approaching a tough anniversary. They do the same for me, and some of my friends are a lot better at remembering than I am. I’m thankful for that, and I try to be more like them. We don’t just remember dates, though. We remember each other’s dreams and ambitions, favorite colors and foods, parents’ names and alma maters. My friends have listened well to me, and they know what makes me, me.
Friendships are golden. They’re formed through both the good times and the bad times. When you read this list, what faces come to mind? Is it because you consider those people “your people,” or is it because you realize there’s more you can do to develop those friendships?
Once you find your people, you tend to find your purpose.
Writer: Cassie Johnson